We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Christmas Rap

by Encyclopedia Brown

Intro 01:36
verse 1: Don't act like you don't get excited inside and feel giddy/ I know I've felt that way ever since I was kiddie/ used to go to bed early maybe 8 maybe 9/ then wake up at 5 am and open mines/ I knew Santa wasn't real my relatives bought the gifts/ every Christmas me and my cousin made a list/ of everything we wanted versus what we knew we'd get/ and were happy if the top gifts were complied with/ the good old days when you had more from’s than to's/ fore the paradigm shift when it was all about you/ before you got older and learned of the Christmas blues/ passed out on your pullout couch reeking of booze/ when you would go to bed but could barely even snooze/ sitting by the tree counting presents by the two's/ where at the very least you'd get a new fit and some shoes/ where even if your poor there's something in store for you verse 2: Man I hate the Christmas story, yeah I had to say it/ it wouldn't be so bad if TBS didn't play it/ for a whole day on the same day every year/ they need a new version where they let Ralphie swear/ and I swear I don't wear reindeer sweaters/ and egg nog with Courvoisier taste way better/ whether its ice skates or sledding snowflakes/ I treasure the winter wonderland the weather makes/ take a cruise late at night to check out the sights/ tiny fluorescent lights decorating homes bright/ tis the season to do good for no reason/ even if it’s something you normally don’t believe in/ cause just receiving can goods or a gift/ could change the outcome of someone's December 25th/ never mind how you find this holiday should be defined/ it happens once a year spread cheer at Christmas time
Every time around this year it’s like impossible to shop/ you might catch your grandpops fighting in the parking lot/ upright citizens is bitching and complaining to the cashier/ who’s at the register about to break down inta tears/ yeah the Christmas rush you work retail it’s a must/ that’s when consumers are sooner to spend all of they bucks/ and you can trust/ that you’ll get overtime with a plus/ but it comes with a whole lot of bullheaded fuss/ case in point I’m at riverside in the foot locker/ watching this manager trainee get treated improper/ by this rugrat’s mama who’s ready to go to war when/ she finds out they don’t got her son’s size in Jordans/ meanwhile a group of teens is in the corner on a scheme/ stuffing everything they find without a sensor in they jeans/ security hit the scene/ attempting to intervene/ and that’s when shorty and his mama ran a screen/ why she kick the stroller at’em and they trip trying ta pivot/ the stroller tips over and out hops a damn midget/ who’s running with her after the teens screaming wait up/ he catches up/ the tallest kid reaches down and picks him up/ they heading to the exit and I’m cracking the hell up/ cause the midgets on a cell yelling bring around the truck
Santa's Verse: Sometimes the holiday season makes me sick/ let me tell ya a lil sumn bout ya boy St. Nick/ I know it all look like beatutiful the glamour the glitz/ but on the real y'all Santa got some beef in this bitch/ don't nobody know how much it cost to feed reindeer/ I lost 50 acres of land to global warming this year/ damn elves went on strike trying to organize a union/ on top of all that me and the Mrs. ain't doing it/ but all that I hear about is can I have/ then you give em what they want and people still be mad/ the fuck you want me to do/ I got a worldwide flight/ on 2 different hemispheres in the same night/ hauling round gifts and spreading the good cheer/ I know you can't wait for Santa to get there/ and all I'm trying to really say is cut me some slack/ before you find something in ya stocking dirty and black/ you little ingrates Chorus: Man fuck you santa/ hey, fuck you kid/ fuck you santa/ hey fuck you kid/ fuck you santa/ hey, fuck you kid/ fuck you/ fuck you/ fuck you/ fuck you Repeat 2x Brown's Verse: Lemme tell you lil something bout ol saint nick/ ol saint nick can eat a old saint's dick/ always coming down the chimney with the same ol shit/ another wack christmas with the lamest gifts/ if i get one more tie or package of socks/ i'll cock the hammer on santa shot'em right in the crotch/ i've been waiting for this bitch since six o'clock/ imma rob this marg for that new xbox/ ol red suit wearing cookies on a plate nigga/ lazy ass work a day a year face nigga/ but he's gotta be white cause he's always on time/ and he breaks into homes but it's still not a crime/ he runs a sweatshop with underpaid little people/ truth be told, santa claus is kinda evil/ i know it sounds bogus and it might be wrong/ but that piece of shit had this coming for too long Repeat Hook 2x Santa Vs Brown Verse: SANTA: Got a thermos full of egg nog spiked wit Amorreto/ now you know Big Santa going straight to the ghetto/ come slide down the chimney and what do I see/ but a nosy lil mufucka looking at me/ SANTA: See that's the shit there that keep you on the list/ you lucky I showed up to even give you shit/ lil pants dragging snot nose/ wanna cut class/ good grades get good gifts/ get it stupid ass/ SANTA: You should know more respect to your almost dad/ I'm the reason why this time of year ya mom's so sad/ lemme hit you wit a factoid you did not know/ she seen my North Pole she a Ho ho ho/ SANTA: well it happened/ BROWN: yeah I doubt it/ SANTA: what you mad, talk about it// BROWN: fuck that whatever's in the bag you leaving here without it/ SANTA: hell naw what you thought/ you was finna punk santa/ i suggest you move back in a real smooth manner/ BROWN: yeah right whatever Santa I'll call the police/ and tell em that you tried to kidnap me in my sleep/ SANTA: listen real talk santa still on probation/ and i gotta be careful in this whole demonstration/ so you can have the bag and everything in it/ you done already put me behind 11 minutes/ now imma just leave cause it's time to take flight/ enjoy ya christmas gifts buddy, good night BROWN: aight then fasho santa i appreciate this/ i guess in the end you ain't that much of a bitch/ but man wouldn't you know it when i open my gifts/ its a bunch of boxes full of reindeer shit Repeat Hook 2x
Verse 1: Every christmas is as great as the last/ green grass, brown liquor in my flask/ another cute shorty with a nice round ass/ black label mo out the bottle no glass/ we giving praise for the good times/ my mans just got home cause of good time/ stealing a kiss under the mistletoe's a good crime/ i'm inclined to kick a yuletide rhyme/ late night, wrapping up my son's gifts/ i still look forward to december 25th/ i used to go sledding when i was a young tike/ but never too old for a snowball fight/ isiah wanna build a snowman/ i'm like how bout we watch frosty the snowman/ charlie brown or another christmas program/ cause it's like 10 below a yo i can't go man and... Hook: I'm just bonding with my family/ there's no place where i'd rather be/ and that's...Gettin it in with my faculty/ we just do what comes naturally and that's... Verse 2: And i can smell my mama cornbread dressing now/ cabbage and some candied yams let me settle down/ a pot of black eyed peas for the new year/ family traditions all day ain't nothing new here/ got a tree decorated in the living room/ the lights in the window playing holiday tunes/ like silent night or rudolph the red nosed/ christmas eve i'm decked out in the fresh clothes/ got the house shaking jamming to the radio/ donny hathaway blasting thru the stereo/ followed by stevie wonder and J5/ and every christmas party is way live/ whether it's your best friend's or it's work related/ the spirit of love is widely celebrated/ its just a feeling that i hold sacred/ i send a prayer in the air for those that didn't make it Hook


**paid download includes bonus instrumentals**

yeah, so i made a Christmas album....i know, kinda left field, but that's me. Christmas rap doesn't have to sound corny, that's a terrible misconception. i had a blast writing this ep, it proved to be more challenging than i expected. great for the (hip hop) holiday person in us all...pause.....lol


released December 17, 2013

Engineered & Mixed by Encyclopedia Brown
Recorded at The Lab




Encyclopedia Brown Chicago, Illinois

A prolific MC and die hard hip hop enthusiast, Encyclopedia Brown keeps listeners on their toes with slick punchlines, fluent vocabulary, & dynamic wordplay. An 80's baby, Brown came up during the "Golden Age" of hip hop, penning rhymes and honing his craft as a teenager. A charismatic persona, plus a natural ability to command attention, equals an impressive performer worthy of any audience ... more

contact / help

Contact Encyclopedia Brown

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Report this album or account

If you like Encyclopedia Brown, you may also like: